Thursday, May 14, 2009

Midnight Confessions

Didn't really want to write about diabetes today, but I'm going to force myself to tonight. Is there a difference between forcing myself and forcing my soul, it seems there is, maybe I see things unclear.

Myself knows the diabetes was a gift, or a symptom of an ailment much deeper. Myself can deal with whatever challenges the diabetes brings, my soul wants all the gifts that come later. Myself faces things in the moment, the stressful new vibe, the wondering why.

My soul wants peace, it wants deeper. I recall a few times in my life when my soul had the floor, but it's mostly myself that makes all the choices and changes, I wish my soul would stick around more. I tried to tell it to stay tonight, it was unsure.

I don't know what it will take to get my soul to align with myself. Probably just time and patience. It's forgiveness, I guess, that's the hardest. Forgiving myself for needing my soul.

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