I've lost all my motivation...

but with the help of the gymnastics center, I'll find my Hitler boots still fit just fine. It's funny how wrong a person can be about themselves within the span of an hour. Took only that long to realize that I'm about as anti-social as Tina Fey...yet as willing to terrorize all the innocent moms about me, with the mere act of birthing five children or more.

With a secret one in there I'll never have to admit to, don't even have a single picture.

I don't know exactly what urged me to attend open gym with Madison today, perhaps it was my plans to go that began over two months prior. Yes, I knew it would take me that long to get my ass in gear, because being responsible for the reproductive health choices of all the women in my small town (through storytelling and friends in pastoral places)...takes that long.

I'm so glad to not be a homeschooler. Not being a homeschooler spares you automatic and unfair judgement, it provides a handy level of trust that says "I'm just like you", even when you'd never. And plus, all those teachers in common to defend your good character...afterall it's the fruits that sheep go by, not the evil that lurks in there.

I love evil. At least, now I do. It's going to take a little extra time to get pregnant however, as one cannot keep attending open gym and pretending to be natural friends to everyone once her toddler gets too grown. Being fruitful takes planning.

Untruths

I figure, I'm standing around here with nothing much to write about...yet thinking. Why CAN'T I compartmentalize some things in my life, writing from my heart takes nothing away from the experiences I have experienced.

Everybody knows it's more than enough to trip over the same word twice in the same sentence, as if EVERYONE does it all the time. They don't. So, I have my Cooper memories, and they are cherished. Doesn't mean I'm moving on so much, as moving forward.

It's just what every New Year needs, a conviction to move forward no matter what. It's all in God's hands anyway, as we've seen over and over again. Like He'd have my nurse be the exact same sign language interpreter from my church...as if my pastor wasn't MEANT TO come in and lure me to Africa to save the world with him.

It's how it happened, not making it up. He supplies the mission trips, I supply the unfailing enthusiasm. Also, the recommendation that he pump up the service a bit, you know? Like, add some moving graphics and video to the Christian Rock hymns up on that there screen.

Other than that, perfect service. I mean, we all know how the devil works, don't we? Takes ANY opportunity to make his way into your life and deceive you? Full-on convinced Ashton Kutcher that being a puer eternal is his best angle...and his manhood DEPENDS on it. So sad.

That's right, look it up Ashton. But this devil lately, well I never. Me, being of the sunnier skin gradation...I see Leno and Conan battling it out up there and I'm thinking, BOXING! Just like I predicted. A little glimpse here and there, just in time, of those BOZOS I've come to know and love, but never get a damn chance in hell of seeing.

And suddenly, I'm sitting in a hospital bed being showered in idiocy!!! I completely missed seeing the devil in the details, so caught up was I. The devil, well, pay attention as if your livelihood depended on it...because it does.

You know how some fools are stupid enough to believe in superstition? Totally against anything suggested by God in the Bible, I know. As unfortunate as thinking good and bad luck must happen in threes, as if fractions never had a chance on earth to give Jen Aniston her own shot at Late Night!

Fractions are REAL, people. Point is...some people have an innate fear of loss that they can't overcome for the life of their souls. Maybe it has something to do with mayonnaise and fences, for all I can make up on the spot, being so creative like God is, er, I am.

But, if someone's worst fears were to come true EVERY TIME, then what reason does God even have for supplying Ashton with the mosquito nets in the first place? Hell if I know. But it's a tangent, and you know how I love those.

It's all good

Cooper James

January 12th, 2010 ~ 7:36pm

a beautiful night spent

January 13th, 2010 ~ 6:00am

More information than anyone needs

Softening and effacing is the theme-o-the-week. How do I know? Well, it ain't from attending last week's doctor's appointment, which I cancelled because I can. Checked my own self in the shower, the initiated understand how and why...and so do the unassisted birthers.

What do I know about bucking the whole entire system for the sake of learning something essential about my rights as a patient, a parent, and a woman in general? I've only done it more times than my sister's "oversight" could bear. Everything I do is to spite that satanic woman, and you can read all about it, on here.

I used to LOVE women, never sexually like Drew, however. Until the betrayal just went on too long, the games never satisfying the self-appointed "in charge"...bossiest bitch on the planet, if you must know. Can't be the boss of my weekends, however, those belong to the calendar. Fault the mathematical leanings of the Mayans.

FYI, contractions can sometimes feel exactly like anger that needs releasing, so there. I just blog for me, everyone knows that, who actually knows me. When I have a laptop at my disposal, uninterrupted, as was evidenced some past weekend...I type alot, and fast.

When I have only the library to ease my thoughts, lift my heartburn, and convince me I'm making a difference, I blog less. It's okay, suits me and my family. If I had unlimited computer usage, I'd have already written every thought that came to mind, thanks to the universe's prompting.

The universe, being mostly comprised of sex-enslaved children who aren't actually enjoying the holidays as much as the multi-billionaires with tourist-y tendencies would have you believe. Energy-redistribution, fairly...theme-o-the-century. I've less time for decades than being mad at my psychotic sister and all the women like her, believe me.

So, I blog. Too much on some weekends, not enough all the rest of the time. See? Well, I'm also a rebel, as is allowed, and in some countries necessary. My head was held so high when my "sister" printed up everything I've ever compiled on-line (not sure how she tracked me)...and sent it lovingly and devotedly...TO MY PARENTS, and siblings!!!

Yes, pure-bred insanity. Maybe, everyone's gotten over their "protect yerself from social services" issues, wa-a-a-y before me. Perhaps, it's the only motivation I actually have in life...to think harder about what my purpose is on earth, and spite-to-the-death what others would tell me.

Who knows. I'm having a baby this week, or next, or sometime after that. And I somehow manage to accomplish IT ALL, raising children, having a healthy marriage, writing my thoughts down at the library and hoping they land SOMEWHERE. But no, I haven't really enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy.