Today it was Magic

Forced by a magician to attend a 1:30 program, totally against my will. Would rather be doing my laundry. You'd be surprised at the nice, comfortable pace laundry gets done at, with no internet or thriving DVR to distract you. Deep thinking galore, in addition to the imagining.

Can't decide which I like better, magicians bending my will so I head towards the library...or the laundry I already have done and won't have to do later. Being productive is amazing !!!

Nothing like it actually, gimme three straight months of being nothing but productive, and meanwhile re-integrating myself into society. Think I'll be queen? Of my own imagination, obviously. Which tends to know no bounds, sounds awfully familiar, don't you think?

In a way, it mirrors all my preconceived notions about destiny.

Certifiably Bonkers

Turns out, I know exactly the reason performers perform, only because I delved to its depths and realized I have it too. Madness, pure and simple, it's claimed me. No wonder like spirits attract like, and call it interesting instead of stalking, or worse. Whew !!!

I do love insanity but will have to thank heaven for this blessing inside of me...seems you can't mix the two. But you can sacrifice more on the altar of life, straighten that character, and have faith in Good News. I do. Put that in bold-print please, thank you.

Can you believe this will be my last blog post ever? Giving up the internet, developing proof. Not my best work, or even inspired, that's the worst news. This deadline of never posting again, kind of gives me the blues (aiming for as many diagnoses as I can muster). Y tu?

Won't bother me tomorrow though, that I can assure you. Moving forward at any and all costs, best thing in the world. Focusing on the family was divinely inspired for a reason, just like the gratitude beads I once made to honor You.

Back then, I was newly a mother and sure of that fact. Now, I'm just a faithful girl who listens always to her insides, follows her instincts to the ends of the earth, eyeing the crescents which are secretly circles. The dark's unmanifested light, the antithesis of lack. The undying unborn (so sue me, I stole that).

That is all, no lyrical fanfare, thu-thump, that's that. So trust me, someday when the echoes are loudest..., when being an anti-technology family restores our dignity back. Just stay-tuned, like the certifiably bonkers always will, always do.

And remember blog, you're the first non-physical entity I ever fell in love with, went insane for, and put my faith in. I hope that matters to you. Oh wait, the vibrational love songs emanating from my screen, resonate perfectly with my hardware.

That means I'm not certifiable bonkers afterall, just breathlessly consumed. Or I was. Back when digital media ruled my world, yes, back then. I lived it, and the reverie, so that makes it true.

Thinking sideways

May cure diabetes, may not, who am I to assume that. I wouldn't, I just go with the flow that is currently my life, knowing that my energy's pure if I'm focusing on what I currently value, which never seems to be fame, money, or even reputation. Wonder how God preserves me from that. I know, I know (raises diamond bedazzled hand)...

I was still a child when I made my decision, weighed it all out, yes chose it. I scanned the possibilities for my life, all the way up through the potential that superficiality breeds, and consciously unchose it. You see, I knew. You can't have both, can't sell your soul and then receive all the natural gifts that are bestowed upon common citizens.

Sad, but true or I wouldn't have wished it. Was a quick and reasonable insight, based all on facts. Or at least, what I had previously witnessed, no that couldn't have been it. At the time I wouldn't have known Steve Martin and Chevy Chase were cokeheads, or that I'd have the freedom to slander them in my blog because it's nothing more than an average citizen's OPINION. Wouldn't be true then.

I just thought it all through to the point that... That everything else glittery and glamoury would certainly interfere with the values of average citizens, simply not worth it. Can't even bridge friendship. Two different worlds, we and fame whores with no consciences. Just the opinion of a better-than-average citizen (legal, and upgraded status my own then). Got that? I mean it. Ahem.

Two-and-a-half barriers

I'm sure they're supposed to be there, they must be. Otherwise, why would I keep convincing myself over and over that the pretend dialogue I keep answering back to is actually happening. No, it would be a luxury if they were just voices in my head, thanks, I tried that.

They are two actual people who I'll remain sure until eternity that they are who I think they are, that the battles that keep presenting are worthy of fighting, but are they? I don't really know with 100% certainty which is actually how I prefer it.

Because maybe without it, everything would change then. Or perhaps, that last half barrier will do me in, and I'd regret that. Only half a barrier to deal with is confusing enough, so I guess I'll just keep all two-and-a-half in place and maintain sanity.

At least it adds variety, because oneness, well, nobody wants to mess with oneness except saints.