At least I get to be unsure out loud. Otherwise my thoughts just spin in unhelpful directions, with no anchor to ensure that I can handle it. Where's God? Processing everything, that can't be Him. It can't make sense that I'll be led into thinking "this could be the path", then right after it sinks in all the way, not even partially, another voice says "no it isn't".
Why do I have to walk them all, I ask.
I know the end result, and am quite sure I'm avoiding that path. Who am I to love children so much, then be forced to watch open-eyed as one is taken from me?
6 years ago